What Happens Next?

I'm listening to Mazzy Star right now - "Fade Into You." Great mellow track for a solitary Saturday night. It was on the most recent episode of Alias. Gotta love a show with such a great soundtrack. I watched it at P's house.

Haven't updated much about the situation with P...I'd like to say I'm not sure why, or it's just a question of me being lazy, but really it's more complex than that. It has not really anything to do with him, or that it's not going well, or anything like that, but that I'm still trying to find my voice for this blog, and so far, it has eluded me. Sometimes writing about my life seems so mudane, repetitive, and banal. Why would anyone want to read about my life? Isn't it so narcissistic to write about my everyday goings on? But then I spoke to my good, yet far-away, friend, A, and I realized there ARE people who want to hear about my life - and I'm not writing about it enough! Someone does want to know more and "what happens next."

"What happens next?" is a phrase that my writing instructor used to use frequently when discussing our work. "I want to know more," was also an oft-used phrase. How I miss the days of constant encouragement and forced assignments. Not that I don't have my share of encouragement these days, because I do, but it comes in less tangible ways. I'm no longer an unsure first-year looking for approval from the instructor and the rest of the class; looking to my success in creative writing as some sort of signal that I didn't make a mistake by choosing English as my course of studies, and that not only was I studying literature, but I would be creating it as well, and that if other people thought I was GOOD at it, it would make my degree choice that much more worthwhile.

I digress. Although I guess that is the point of having my very own blog. I have so much more to add to this, but I am running out of time. I must get to bed so I can return tomorrow, in Amy's words, to "the place of marginal employment." Not the same place as her, mind you, but a place that I go to most days wondering if I'm going to end up in retail for the rest of my life, despite two degrees in English literature.

Next posting - what I'm reading and why.