So I'm back from my weekend in Montreal, and I am exhausted. Wow. No doubt you're thinking "There's a surprise. She's tired AGAIN." Not again. Still. I don't think I'm ever not tired. True, the turkey enzyme is coursing through my veins, desperately trying to knock me out, as turkey enzymes are wont to do. My sister's friends had us over for Easter dinner, and it was really nice, because there are times when I really miss my family (my parents especially) and holidays that include big holiday dinners are among those times. I'm mostly worn out because I was up until 4 o'clock on Saturday night after hitting various bars in Montreal with Michele. More on this later. You'd think after having all that fun (which I really did), I would come home vimmed and invigorated (or full of piss and vinegar, take your pick). Instead, I came home and started to bawl my eyes out.
I can't take it anymore.
No, I don't have a million kids ( or even one) to look after. No, I don't have any sort of disabilities that prevent me from doing things the way everyone else does. But I'm broke, I'm away from my family, I don't see my friends much anymore, I don't have any money, I have a job that I'm seriously overqualified for and is grating on my nerves, and I have a roommate who doesn't seem very interested in helping me clean anything, I have no money (oh yeah, it looks like I already said that), I don't have enough time to do all the things that NEED to get done, so I look like shit, my place looks like shit, I feel like shit, I get all wonky and depressed and freak out on my boyfriend, and I'm worried that if I continue to get freaked out like this, he's going to leave me and I'll be even more depressed and then where will I be??
There's not enough hours in the day to get everything done.
I am sick sick sick sick sick of going to work everyday at a job that I can do well, but can do so much better than.
Being more broke now than when I was a student is depressing.
I'm tired ALL the time.
I feel like I'm being pulled in different directions constantly and I don't know if I can take it anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm disappointing people but I always feel like I do.
Am I just PMS? Overtired? Is it wrong to want to have the time to sit and read a book without thinking of the million and one fucking other things that need to get done? Is it too much to ask?
Sunday, March 27, 2005
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I can totally relate. It sounds almost as if you've crept into my head and copied down the words I *don't* blog about. Don't do that! It's freaky. :)
ReplyDeleteSometimes things are sucky. Or overwhelming. But it's spring. Soon it'll be sunny and warm and fresh-airy again. And things will get better, feel better, look better.
When they feel like they're not, come play with kittens. Seriously. They're a total pick-me-up.
--robyn