I don't think November likes me much.

And it's only just begun. Sigh. It's cold and it's dark in the mornings and it's dark at night when I come home from work. I feel like I work a lot, yet I don't make much money and when I have time to look for other, better-paying work, nothing. It's very discouraging. And I miss my ex much more than I care to admit, although I'm sure it's obvious how much I think of him by the number of times references to him (by me) come up in conversation. I ran into the ex-girlfriend of his best friend. I didn't realize they broke up. They moved in together in July, around the last time I saw my ex, then she moved out two months later. She's a very sweet girl. I was incredibly intimidated by her at first, but she grew on me, and I was pleased that she didn't rebuff me when I said hello. It's somewhat nerve-wracking to run into someone connected to a past that I can't seem to shake yet. I hate that I miss him.

It seems like I am meeting lots of guys, and some of them even make reference to their attraction for me - but nothing seems to go beyond initial physical attraction. What is it about me that makes guys think I'm good-looking enough, but they are not interested in a relationship with me, or even getting to know me?

All I do is complain. Whine whine whine. I can't possibly be fun to talk to right now. I think I should go to bed and try to wake up on the right side tomorrow.